To Hell and Back
by dead-voodoo-doll
Summary: Roppi had always wanted to kill himself and leave this digustinng world. What happens when he succedes and finds himself in the depths of Hell itself? Roppi/Tsuki slight AUish and maybe a little OOC Rated M for language, violence, and smut later! Yaoi
1. Prologue

**Hello! Dead here with my very first fanfic :D **

**I'm a Izuo/Shizaya addict and I just love the alternates and this pairing needs more love! I got this idea a few days ago and I told my friend Fair Weather Tyrant about it and he has been dieing waiting for this xD So I hope you enjoy reviews and suggestions are love! I want to know if people like this our not.**

**Summary: Roppi had always wanted to kill himself and leave this world. What will happen when he succedes and finds himself in the depths of hell? Slight AU and perhaps slight OOC. demon!Tsuki and dead!Roppi. Tsuki/Roppi Yaoi. Rated M for language, violence, and of course smut for the later chapters.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own DRRR if I did it would be a yaoi anime/manga -**

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Life...  
_Intolerable... Meaningless... Painful_

Humans...  
_Annoying... Disgusting... Animals_

The days were becoming unbearable. Waking up every morning pissed him off more then the 'tick-tick-ticking' of the wall clock that hung in the office area of the apartment where he spent the majority of his time it seemed. He had little desire to go out ever because then he would be surrounded by one of the things he hated most... and that was people. Roppi hated everything about human beings which made him completely opposite of his brother Izaya Orihara who seemed to love the population of parasites with a burning yet obsessive passion.

He began to think about how nice it would be to just disappear. To just go into the bathroom and slash that major vein in his arm. Watch the crimson fluid as it spilled from his arm to crawl along the white surface of the shower floor, splinter out like stretching branches before sinking down the drain in hypnotic spirals taking a portion of his life with it. Untill finally it was all gone and his world would evaporate into darkness.

But that burning, searing pain...  
Would fade with the cold embrace of his dark desire.

Usually Izaya was here with him when he started to imagine these sort of thoughts, but tonight the other raven was out prowling the streets of Ikebukuro. He said something about trolling a 'Shizu-chan' or whatever. So Roppi was just left home alone to his own devices and he was going fucking insane!

He was angry...  
No! He was pissed! Pissed that his brother left him here alone like this, pissed at life, pissed at humans...  
And pissed at himself

Roppi didn't understand why he got like this sometimes. He just couldn't seem to stay in control of himself or his emotions. He would get moody, snap at somebody when they were just joking, go to a corner hugging his knees to his chest and sob, and then of course cut his wrist just cause he felt like it. Sometimes he did it when he was just bored. He couldn't help it.

This little _'habit '_of his has of course sent him to the hospital a few times. It must of been such an annoying inconvience to Izaya because after the third time his older brother tried his best to keep anything sharp confiscated and away from him. This made Roppi feel a lot more antsy like a smoker who had been deprived of his cancer stick.

Tick Tock... Tick Tock...

Damn clock! It was 11:03 pm and Roppi stood leaning against the rather large glass window that was behind Izaya's desk. He watched the bustling _'hot bed of humans'_, as quoted by his older brother, that scuttled below like a bunch of little insects. Roppi saw many humans. Different genders, sizes, shapes, races they all passed under the window lost in their world unaware of the raven male that peered down at them from above like a disgusted god. He watched a particular group of girls pass by. They were chattering away like a bunch of high pitched, poorly educated, valley girls. They had more make-up on then a clown and they just all together looked so trashy.

"And these are the types of girls people call attractive? I don't get it." Roppi sneered in disgust.

He was glad he was deattached from these 'creatures' he was nothing like them, he never would be and it made his world more depressing having to be in this life with these... these things. What in the world did Izaya see in these animals that made Izaya love them so much. Roppi snapped from his thoughts when he could hear them talking as they started to disappear around the corner.

"O...M...G... No way that is so totally lame! Your dad is like a total asshole."  
"Like I know right? He just won't keep his nose out of my business! I was like dad he is only 32..."  
"Whores..." Roppi mummbled.

That was all he heard because the group disappeared. That was fine by him he had lost intrest anyway. He turned away from the would and a small glint caught his attention. He walked toward the desk just a foot or two away and noticed that by the key board of the computer was one of Izaya's knives. Looks like his brother was so excited to head of to Ikebukuro that he didn't realize he left this here or forgot to hide it or whatever.

"Is this a dagger I see before me? Come let me clutch thee." Roppi murmured, not caring how corny that Macbeth reference sounded because it wasn't like anybody was around to hear, as he reached and lifted the beautifully sharp object on the table by the steal. He ran his finger slowly against the sharp edge, a small stream of crimson staining the clean blade, the weight in his hand was reassuring, comforting, and scary all in one.  
_"I could just stab my chest now... and end all this..."_  
He thought turning the blade so it poked against his chest lightly right over his heart. He could feel it hammer against his ribcage as he imagined plunging the blade through skin past muscle and bone to impale the vital organ.  
_"There is nobody here who could stop me... I could finally leave this world forever..."_  
Though his hands were trembling slightly. What was this? Why was he so nervous? This is what he wanted wasn't it? Here he was with a perfect opprotunity and he couldn't go through with it? What a disgusting coward! How he HATED himself... most of all.

Tick... Tock... T-Tick Tock...

It was 2:26 am and Izaya still hadn't come home yet. How much time could he possibly spend with this 'Shizu-chan' person? This was getting a bit ridiculous. Roppi was in the bathroom. His left arm was painted crimson and the blade of the knife was stained completely as the raven haired male continued to carve lines of various lengths into his arm tearing open old wounds and scars from past cuttings. At first it stung because it had been awhile since he hadn't done it in awhile but after awhile the pain disapated with numbness.  
_"I hate myself... I hate this world... but I can't even take my own life... I want to die I want to die! "_  
Tears of frustration bubbled up in the corner of Roppi's eyes as he bit down on his lower lip violently that it tore slightly and he could taste the sharp metallic flavor of blood as it touched the tip of his tongue. He applied more force in his anger slashing deeper down into his abused arm. Soon he would have to move on the the right arm.

It was 3:00 am. Roppi had layed back against the wall, both arms cut up all the way to his elbows. The blood on his arms were dry now, but the blood pooled on the floor was a different story. He didn't want to move right now though, he felt light headed and woozy... to put it simply he felt like shit. He held the knife weakly in his hand and he stared at nothing in particular his vision had been blurred over for awhile and was only just starting to come back as his poor body struggled to cover the blood it had lost. _"Guess it wasn't enough it didn't kill me..."_  
He thought as his eyes slowly moved to look down at the blood. Izaya was going to scold him he just knew it and that thought sparked a slight anger. He didn't want to hear it... it was the same thing again and again!

_"Roppi-kun thats dangerous you need to stop..."_  
"Shut... up..."  
_"Look at the mess you made Roppi-kun tsk tsk..."_  
"S-shut up!"  
_"You'll end up in the hospital again..."_  
"SHUT UP!"

Several more minutes passed or at least it felt like it because that annoying clock on the wall 'tick-tick-ticked' for what felt like forever. He pushed up forcing his shaky body up into the standing position, knife still in hand. He didn't want to be in here the blood made the room smell bad and he was to sick to clean up. He would just go to the couch and just sleep there, the climb to the second floor to where his room was seemed to long of a trip to the woozy raven.

This wasn't the best idea on his part. The floor was still sleek with his blood and when he went to step the expected happened. Roppi found himself falling forward, gravity could be such a bitch, and his mind felt rushed at this quick action. He was still so weak his body was unable to react properly. He tried to move his hands in front to catch himself but the weak limbs gave way immediatly. Roppi's body hit the floor with a loud thump, his head knocking against the floor with a loud CRACK making the raven see stars.

Though it wasn't till that pain was reduced into pounding throbs that he realized a much sharper pain in his midsection... along with the feeling of warm liquid pooling around his chest.

Absolute terror spread across his face as dark realization hit him. His whole body trembled as he let out strangled gasps. He forced... oh how he forced his body to roll a bit so he could get a look at the culprit to his pain.

The knife... he had been holding it and when he fell... he had held it face up... and when he tried to catch himself. It was stuck in there deep he couldn't even see an inch of the blade. In his panic he probably did one of the worst things you could do. He gripped the blade and struggled to remove it he wriggled and tugged untill he ripped it out from his body.  
"A-AAAAAH!"  
He screamed out in burning, searing, hellish pain as it was removed and oozing steady flow of blood was his reward. The knife fell to the side with a clatter as he gripped the wound tightly. Pressure! He needed to apply pressure to stop the bleeding! But Roppi was to weak.

Help! He would call Izaya! He frantically fooled with his jacket pockets searching for his phone only to realize much to his dismay that he had left it on the coffee table in front of the couch. _"No no no no! "_  
His mind shrieked as squirmed and clawed at the floor trying to crawl out of the bathroom to get to his phone. His arms screamed in protest the crusted blood and scabs breaking to reopen the cuts all over his arms. Roppi could feel himself getting weaker and weaker with each small inch he dragged himself. Spots of black and white started to dot around his vision and his head spun as if it was spinning inside his head.

He reached for the phone smacking the glass in desperation the blood smearing across the glass with each try.  
_"No I don't... I don't want to die!"_  
He would be surprised by his own words if he wasn't so terrified. His mind was fading the phone only getting farther and farther away the harder he tried to reach it. Soon his arm just went limp and slowly slid before falling to the floor with a light thump. There was no more strength to move.

So Roppi just layed there sobbing loudly as he screamed in desperation,  
"IZAYA! IZAAYAAAAA!"  
Untill even his voice slowly failed him.

T-t-t-tiii-t-tick T-tock... T-t-t-t-t-t-t...

He knew he was dieing. Each one of his senses were fading away...

First it was taste... He couldn't taste the salt from his tears or the metallic of the blood

Second was smell...  
The smell that stung his nose was gone along with any scents of the home

Third was hearing...  
That damn ticking was gone

He found out that it was almost completly gone when he heard the door, then the skipping footstep that stopped when Izaya saw the sight. He heard muffled steps of running and could barely hear the shout of his older brother.  
"Roppi! ROPPI!"

Fourth was touch...  
Izaya was embracing him

"Don't tell me to calm down! He's dieing!" Izaya he was screaming on the phone at somebody but he couldn't hear anything after that. His world went mute. He could feel his sense of touch slipping away to he could just barely register that Izaya was gripping him so tight that it was almost painful. _"Izaya I'm scared... I've done it... This time I've done it... I don't want to be alone."_  
He willed his lips to move his voice to speak, but he couldn't.

He stared up at his brother black slowly creeping across his vision threatening to engulf him and take him away forever. Tears poured but he couldn't feel them, couldn't move to touch them. He felt like he was slipping but he was sure Izaya hadn't let him go. He was at the mercy at whatever was tugging at him, he couldn't move to reach and clutch to Izaya to clutch onto life.

The last thing he saw was the tears that streamed down Izaya's cheek before the darkness swallowed his vision and he fell.

_"Tick Tock the clock has stopped..."_  
The voice spoke in the darkness.


	2. Chapter 1

**Hello! And thank you for coming to read Chapter One of To Hell and Back! Sorry this took longer to post up then I expected. I had finished writing it in my Civil War class a few days back but didn't really get around to typing it up untill right now. Originally Roppi's freak out session was a bit longer but I felt that it got a little excessive so I'm going to save the bits I took out and maybe spread them into chapter two somewhere! I would like to also give a special shout out thanks to those who reviewed! IisHari-chan, Tamnyan (whose Shizaya story To Lie in Wait is like my crack right now if you haven't read it yet I totally recommend that you do), and of course my friend Fair Weather Tyrant! I would also like to thank Tamnyan for pointing out the grammar mistakes that I had. I fixed the summary this time :D I hope xD my computer is rather laggy and doesn't like to listen... not to metion lacks in spell check lol.**

**Anyway! I hope you all enjoy! Please review it is like my feul!**

**Disclaimer: Durarara and its lovely characters do not belong to me neither do the fan made alternates... no matter how much I wish I did**

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Demons...

There are several different interpretations of their kind. Angels who revolted against heaven, Monsters who prey on humans, Evil spirits who possess the souls of wicked or innocent souls, Beautiful creatures who swoon you before dragging your soul to hell... The different pictures are endless! One thing stood true with all of them though. That is they are evil, sinister, deadly, and should never be crossed ever!

...

And then there was Tsukishima.

Tsukishima wasn't your typical demon. He wasn't much of a demon at all to be honest. He was shy beyond belief, often retreating behind his large scarf with nearly every emotions that he felt run through his being not to mention whenever another demon got within a thirty step radius of him. Where other demons varied from obnoxious to sauve Tsuki could barely form a sentence let alone speak above that of a whisper. Not to mention he would get lost even if you stuck him in a room with one exit, would often trip over his own two feet, would cry if he saw a dead puppy, couldn't lie to save his life, and had never succeded at a single job he was ever giving (whether it be collectiong souls, making a contract, the poor soul couldn't even seduce people). You could say he was a doormat, nuisance, and a disgrace to the name of demons but Tsuki found it much easier this way. He would rather let himself be pushed around then piss off the wrong demon and have to pay for it.

So the other demons did what any other creature would do, and that was shove the problem as far away and out of sight as they could get. That way they wouldn't have to deal with it anymore.

Out of sight out of mind, ne?

Tsuki didn't mind this, even if it did mean he was stuck wandering the vast plains of hell in search of the souls that had wandered astray from the gates. Plucking them up he would stuff them in his messanger bag till it was full and then endeavor to find his way back to Hell's Gate to return them to the gatekeeper where they may receive their proper judgement.

The one thing though that Tsuki disliked about this job, was that when he touched a soul he felt what that person was like in life and saw them in their last moments. And since this was Hell the majority of people were dark, cold, and slimy on the inside much similar to that of sludge and their final moments could sometimes become very... graphic.

Tsuki opened his bag carefully and peered inside at the contents. He watched the small the little sould wriggle around inside in discomfort as they were all cramped inside unable to escape their bag prison. He tried to recall how many were inside there.

"157...no...160..." he muttered.

His bag would soon be full and he lamented at this fact. He hated trying to find his way back. It was nothing but fire and brimstone around here. He carefully closed and latched the bag shut before continuing his way across the barren plain the horizon seeming shaking with the heat rising from the ground.

It was always hot in hell but today was particularily a scorching day. Beads of sweat grew on Tsuki's brow forcing him to wipe his forehead on occassion. His face was flushed red, his conserved clothes aiding to his discomfort as he tugged on his scarf, but he would never remove it. He hadn't seen a soul for a good few miles now and he silently wished there was an easier way to locate them. He was just about to take a little break when something in the distance caught his attention. At first he thought it was some unfortunate demon who got lost out here, but the longer he stared he started to make out what it really was though he didn't think he could believe it.

It wasn't a demon, but a person, a soul from the looks of the faint glow and nearly transparent appearence.

But he had never seen a soul that took on its human shape without passing through the gates first! That was made him thinking his weary eyes were just playing trick on him. He blinked a few times and then rubbed his eyes repeatedly trying to wipe this illusion away, but when he looked again the figure was still in the distance laying there. So Tsuki set the strap of his messager bag over his shoulder and made his way to where the stranger layed.

The closer he got to it the more he could make out more features of it. It was indeed a soul as he deduced earlier, male, rather thin compared to most human males, he had raven colored hair as black as night but skin as pale as death. Of course he was nude you took nothing with you in death not even your clothes, but his lower region was hidden from the eyes but a glow almost like a censor. Another thing he noticed that was sad, was that this particular male was what the humans would call a 'teen'. It was safe to assume that the cause for the young one's death was none other then teen suicide. It wasn't the first time Tsuki had come across a teen like this one it seemed to be a huge cause of death of the young humans now adays and had grown in popularity all over the world. It made the blonde demon wonder what was so bad that made these creatures feel that death was the only option for them.

Tsuki was now standing over the spirit male looking down on him still at a loss of what exactly he was to do. He certainly couldn't fit the male into his bag. Seemed like he had to make a trip back to the gate earlier then he suspected how depressing.

He then noticed that the small spirit began to stir from his slumber a little bit. Most likely due to the fact Tsuki's shadow stretched across his body like a shield from the unforgiving harshness of Hell's sun. Soon the boy's eyes opened to reveal a pair of deep crimson eyes that were very similar to Tsuki's own pair. That surprised the young demon a bit.

"Where am I?"

The raven male spoke in a slightly raspy voice as if his throat had gone dry. He looked around with a hazy look glazing over his eyes, not completely aware of his surroundings.

"Hell."

Tsuki said simply. There was no sense lieing to the dead especially the dead here they were in Hell they at least deserved a little honesty since they were going to suffer for eternity. It seemed that it took a moment for his words to sink into the raven's head because there was a delay between his answer and the reaction of the raven haired male. The raven sat up abrupt and wide eyed with disbelief and shook as he frantically surveyed his surroundings like a confused animal. Tsuki could see as realization of the truth flooded those crimson eyes which caused a sense of pity and sadness to tug at his chest. He hated having to take these poor souls in most of all, since they were so young and most just didn't know that this fate would befall them or how truely awful it would be. Sadly this was his job and he was bound to do what he had to do no matter how much pity he felt toward the souls.

"Aha...haha... Hell... Hell you say...?"

Tsuki snapped out of thought as he watched as the spirit rose up to his feet swaying slightly as if horribly off balanced. He had no time to answer as the male slumped his head forward and then snapped it back bursting into a laughing fit,

"AHA! HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!"

The laughter sounded like that of a sane man who had suddenly gone mad. It was warped, twisted and sent shivers down the spine. Tsuki, a demon for crying out loud, even stepped back to make some distance between them as he gripped his scarf in paranoid, nervous fear. He didn't say anything funny so he was at a loss of what was wrong with this crazy spirit. Maybe he misjudged.

"Oh how funny! What a deliciously bitter and twisted turn of events! What was that theory you had big brother? That death meant to become nothing? That there was nothing after you die? That you CEASCED TO EXIST?" The raven continued to laugh his sick hysteria growing louder and louder as he now scratched at his face and pulled his hair viciously keeping his head snapped before slumping it forward again with a crazed expression and a terrifying smirk that curled along his lips.

"HAHAHAHA! AHAHAHA! Its so funny! So FUNNY!"

The laughter died suddenly as the crazed crimson eyes landed on Tsuki causing the demon to squeak a little as he was observed.

"So what are you supposed to be? A demon?"

Tsuki gripped the fabric of his scarf tightly expressing his uneasy.

"Y-yes."

And with that the male broke out into dark psychotic giggles though his expression was enough to let Tsuki know he wasn't laughing because he thought it was funny. He was dismayed. Was this some strange way humans coped? Tsuki didn't get this process at all. He then took a quick step back as he realized that the male was coming toward him in swayed steps.

"So what now hm? Are you going to drag me to a burning pit so I can suffer for eternity? Oh! Or maybe you will brand me and make me a slave cursing me to a life of hard labor and torture! No no how about you will devour my soul? So? How does it work here? Huh? HOW!"

Tsuki tried to step back again but the male reached up and seized him weakly by his scarf. He could hear behind the crazed, dismayed tone the teen's voice was wavering and weak as if at any moment he could just break into sobs. This reawakened Tsuki's tugging pity and desire to embrace the poor spirit.

"Well? ANSWER ME!"

The demand caused Tsuki to start shaking a little and he just kept staring down at him unsure what to tell him.

"A-answer me... damn you..."

As suspected the male broke into sobs as he weakly pounded the demon's chest as he fell against him his whole body trembling from the sobs and his own weakness.

"I... I don't know... I'm sorry... my job is just to take lost souls to the gate."

Tsuki finally spoke. The pounding on his chest didn't phase him in truth he barely felt them and he stayed still allowing the weakened spirit to fall against him and cry. Though Tsuki wanted to wrap his arms around him and comfort the raven, he was still hesitant to doing so. There was a long moment of silence between them. The only sound being the spirit's sobs. After who knows how long the blonde demon broke the silence.

"Please... what's your name?" he spoke softly.

Another moment of silence.

"Hachimenroppi... Roppi."

"Roppi..."

The raven spirit known as Roppi spoke and Tsuki repeatedly gently mostly to himself so he wouldn't forget. What the spirit asked next though surprised him.

"What's your name demon?"

It wasn't really everyday that his name was asked. What with him being out here collecting souls and other demons not caring enough to get familar with others. Names didn't really matter much here unless they held a lot of weight like Beezlebub or Astaroth for example.

"Tsukishima..."

"I'm going to call you Tsuki."

And before he knew it Tsuki had found himself with a nickname and a spirit that he had to lead back to Hell's Gate.


End file.
